2023 Week 1 Dynasty Recap: A New Chapter

The fat cats remain on top. Four of last year’s top five teams all won this week (Fred [last year’s #4] lost to Pastor Dad [last year’s #5]). I was looking forward to some potential turnover this year, but so far not so good! Here are your week 1 results:

Disclaimer: the following quotes may not be accurate to what may or may not have been said, please don’t sue me.

Fear Itself 79.07 over Space Rangers 72.84

In Nathan’s post-game presser, he said, “They had us in the first half, not gonna lie, but we took care of business at the end.” It looked like Josh Allen may end up costing Fear Itself the win, but a touchdown pass to Diggs put him over the top and kept me from being able to make a comeback. Higgins accrued 8 targets and scored zero points for me, so that was fun, but there was one big promising piece, my first pick this year, Bijan Robinson, led my team (bench excluded) with 13.15 points!

Michael Style 53.27 over Shenron’s Wish 44.23

I promise Bryar, I did not do anything to Jackson or Goedert before sending them out the door and over to you, those dud performances were all them. This marks Bryar’s lowest scoring game ever. Amon-Ra St. Brown led the way for Alex, his point total was more than all three of his other starting Receivers. “It wasn’t pretty, but a win is a win,” that was the sentiment Alex shared after the game. This game set a new league record for lowest total points in a single game! Congratulations to you both.

Kade’s Dawgs 91.28 over Fantasy Fairies 64.55

Who thought Deshaun Watson would be our QB1 after week 1? I didn’t, but he is. And Watson wasn’t even the highest scoring player for Curt, that title belongs to Pollard. Perhaps the most heartbreaking part is that Ryan had this week’s Player of the Week, Dallas’ 30 fantasy points were enough to destroy the Giants, but not enough to help the Fairies take down the Dawgs. When asked after the game if he felt this loss would impact his chances of getting to the playoffs in his second season in the league, Ryan, with a crazed look on his face, responded, “Don’t talk about the playoffs. Playoffs? PLAYOFFS?! Are you kidding me?”

ay_Bilat 85.17 over Noobmaster69 40.50

TY…REEK…HILL! 28.25 points. Trey had TWO players score absolutely nothing for him, but he still managed the third most points of the week and that’s largely thanks to Hill. Devastating news for Simon, Rodgers went down on his first drive of the Monday night game, and it appears he tore his Achilles. The silver lining, if you want to see it that way, is the trade Simon made before the draft that landed him Trevor Lawrence. After the game, as Simon was trying to hustle back to the locker room, he told a reporter, “In that game we didn’t run very well, but we made up for it by not catching well.”

NUKEM 123.78 over Ferocious Felines 73.35

Pastor Dad messaged over Sunday evening a single sentence, “Week one overreaction: my team is stacked!!” Not entirely an overreaction, seeing as how this is the second highest point total we’ve seen in a week 1 game, a record he set in week 1 last year. He had 8 players score double-digits, and this was without Mark Andrews. Fred’s output wasn’t even all that bad, he would’ve beaten five other teams, but this game still looked like an FCS team trying to keep up with Georgia. Fred, who was fired up after the game, had this to say: “They are who we thought they were! If you wanna crown them, then crown them already!!”

Here’s a look ahead at next week:

Fear Itself (1-0) vs Kade’s Dawgs (1-0)

A battle for the top of the East. Curt won the division in year 1, Nathan has won it the three seasons since with Curt right on his heels. It’s too early in the year to call this game pivotal, but since Nathan won the division by one game last year, it could certainly have an impact. Nathan leads the series 5-4.

NUKEM (1-0) vs Fantasy Fairies (0-1)

These two met in week 1 of last year with Pastor Dad getting the win, it’s the only matchup they’ve had. Now, a little over 365 days later, they will meet again as Ryan looks to end his losing streak at 4 games, and Pastor Dad looks to keep his team at the top of the league.

ay_Bilat (1-0) vs Shenron’s Wish (0-1)

A rough start to his season and now Bryar has to take on Trey who holds a 6-2 record against him. At least Bryar can feel a little confidence since one of his two wins in this series came last year, and was one of the two wins he had all of last season. Never underestimate a divisional game.

Michael Style (1-0) vs Ferocious Felines (0-1)

Fred leads the series 5-3, but they’ve split the series in each of the last three seasons. I’d throw in something about how winning could help Alex, or losing could hurt Fred, but the fact of the matter is Alex started 2-0 last year and missed the playoffs, and Fred’s made the playoffs all four seasons and he’s started 0-2 in two of those seasons.

Space Rangers (0-1) vs Noobmaster69 (0-1)

For the most part our series has been pretty even, I’m currently up 6-4, but that’s due to recent circumstances as I’m currently on a 3-game win streak in this series. I can’t speak to what a win or loss could do for Simon, but in the two seasons I’ve made the playoffs I started 1-1 and in the two I missed the playoffs I started 0-2, so….

That’s all for this week, good luck to you all in week 2!